Introducing tonight’s main event: Our ‘Real’ Self vs The Goblin Within.

Credit: Columbia Pictures, Marvel Studios, Sony Pictures. 2021.

An iconic scene in the movie Spiderman No Way Home is a scene when Norman Osborn, smashed his Green Goblin suit in a fit of frustration and left it at the trash. The suit represented his alter-ego, the Green Goblin, who had a hold on his decision making, and he did not like that. Smashing and leaving his suit in the trash represented his desire to ignore the Green Goblin’s influence over him. Yet, he is ultimately unsuccessful as the suit continues talking to him even as he walks away.

While this is a scene from the marvel cinematic universe, it is poignant as it resonates with so many people. It represents a desire to get rid of a part of ourselves that we cannot control, tolerate, or a part that holds us back. It represents a fantasy that we can simply ignore and leave what we do not like about ourselves in the trash.

I would like to use this metaphor of the Goblin to discuss three characters within us, that reside just below the surface of our consciousness. To introduce this process, I would be informed by and draw inspiration from three schools of thought.

From the world psychodynamic literature, we will be enlightened about our shadow self.

From the world of transformational chairwork, we expose our inner critic.

From the world of schema therapy, we accept our need to attach to others through the unmet needs of our vulnerable child.

The Shadow Self

In psychodynamic literature, Carl Jung writes about the shadow self. It refers to the parts of ourselves that we might find difficult to accept. The key is that these parts just difficult for us to accept in our conscious awareness. Hence, like Peter Pan’s shadow, aspects of our shadow self can range from the positive or negative, benevolent or villainous. Depending on the individual, they can range from a hidden capacity for anger, thoughts that are less socially acceptable, the pressure to remain on a pedestal for the admiration of others, the fear of surpassing a figure that we look up to, to the ability to speak up without the burden of submitting to others.

For example, some people might unconsciously self-sabotage their achievements for fear of surpassing an accomplished parent, as doing so would diminish the image of that idolised parent, figuratively killing the lion king. Others might unconsciously hold on to aspects of their culture as a default approach to solving problems even when they consciously seek to pull themselves away from those aspects of their culture. Yet others might be surprised that they can speak without suppression from others, therefore transcending their position as the least favourite child.

The Inner Critic

Transformational Chairwork talks about the Inner Critic. This is the brutal inner voice that is critical of us, is never satisfied and pushes us to more and yet more. When the inner critic is punitive, voices such as ‘you are not good enough’, ‘you are only this qualified/ senior/ competent, what makes you think that you can match up with them’ emerge. When the inner critic is demanding, we can never seem to do enough to satisfy it. Every achievement is just mediocre and we are on a tight leash to do more. Some people experience both voices, which leaving them put down and exhausted.

Notice how I used the pronoun ‘it’ to describe the inner critic. This is because it is not a real person, it is just a voice, and with it brings the hope the inner critic can be overpowered and shut down. The inner critic can emerge from a myriad of areas, including relationships with authority figures, statements of tough love, projections of unmet desires onto the child, or a child’s idea of the conditions that they need to satisfy to receive love.

The Vulnerable Child

Speaking about receiving love, Schema Therapy talks about the Vulnerable Child. This is the part of ourselves that desires to attach ourselves to others. It is the part of ourselves that wants our feelings to be acknowledged by others, for others to be attuned with our emotions, and to feel our relationships with others is secure and can be trusted. When our need to be securely attached with others is not met, we react with feelings of loneliness, insecurity, shame, fear or anger.

Like what its namesake suggests, the vulnerable child too can eventually be soothed and areas of strength derived from other parts of ourselves.

The Closing Act

Now that we are introduced to what our goblins might be, let’s get down to wrestling with them and knowing ourselves a bit better.

Spiderman: No Way Home is out on Blu-ray and DVD on 12 April 2022 Credit: Columbia Pictures, Marvel Studios, Sony Pictures. 2021.